Here we are, the day after. Everyone still breathing? Good. Some of the hysteria has begun to die down, although I must admit it seems like the nation is still one whisker away from freaking right the fuck out. The protests last night warmed this old patriot’s heart. It was like the Boston Tea Party, but with less civil disobedience and more I-Phones. Of course, the corporate media focused on the one idiot who thought that burning the American flag on CNN would be a great background for a protest selfie, thereby undermining any respect the nascent anti-Trump street protest movement might have garnered from the public at large. Circle that firing squad, lefties!
Speaking of CNN, I was walking through the kitchen at work this morning and was treated to the spectacle of a slightly manic Chris Cuomo interviewing a preternaturally calm Rudy Giuliani about the plans for the first 100 days of Pussygrabber’s administration. Someone was making a smoothie so I couldn’t hear what Rudy was saying, but it dawned on me with considerable sadness that this would not be the last time I see America’s Mayor on CNN holding forth about mass deportation and denying climate change, rather he and the rest of the Basket of Deplorables (Gingrich, Christie, Palen), would be our constant companions on our upcoming 4 year journey to Mount Doom. As depressing a sight as I have ever seen. Little known fact: I was with Rudy Giuliani on 9/11. By “with him” I mean he was cowering in the basement of 100 Church Street as the second plane hit the Trade Center, as I was walking out the front door. We parted ways soon after. I walked back to Brooklyn after the second tower hit the ground, and he walked into the history books, lauded for something I don’t think he quite deserved. But I digress.
For years I have tried not to get bogged down in the unseemly battle between the alt-right Republicans and the corporate Democrats. While it wasn’t that hard to pick a side, it was pretty tough to lustily cheer for my team. Without beating the dead horse too soundly, I really thought that the Democrats had turned the corner when Bernie started picking up states in the primaries. I was shocked at his success, and dare I say it, optimistic? Of course, like all things too good to be true, it didn’t last. Bernie was run out of town by Sheriff Wasserman-Schultz, and later trotted around by the Clinton campaign, siphoning off the anger that should have been directed at the DNC for casting him aside. I don’t blame Bernie. If Clinton had won he stood to gain a position where he could have exercised immense influence, well, as long as he didn’t push for anything TOO crazy. With a Trump victory, Bernie goes back to the Senate and back to a role at which he excels, being a pain in the ass. Here’s hoping he gives Paul Ryan and Trump a case of hemorrhoids so bad they can’t sit down until 2020.